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Cholos here for 3sum or dp get at me ladys. attractive Oakland male seeking direet relationship. 1. that it's not always as simple as getting used to You mention an 18 year old, I'm assuming there are also younger involved. My ex had two and I went through all of it dealing with their mother. Eventually I had to step back from the details of their interaction. They are the mother and father of these, they have to make their own decisions. You've taken on a lot of baggage and it won't end until the last one is grown up and support is over even then she still be in their lives. Adults things are between adults. You the and show them that, but if it comes down to issues between mom and dad, you just need to tell them you them but their mom and dad have to work things like that out. Otherwise your life be consumed with their drama and trust me, your marriage won't survive. I did a lot of fighting on behalf of my stepchildren to provide them with the first stable home life they had in years and to show them what a normal life was like. You can do all of this without getting involved in things like support and a backpack. And as far as "paying for meals", ask the 18 year old how he would like to deal with it. Maybe he wants to show up with a grocery bag of food for the weekend. Maybe the easy way out is to give him $20 to run to McDs for every meal. Ask him what he thinks it would take for this to not be a problem for him. Ironiy after my ex and I split, the mother decided to take my advice and go into counseling. No for dad, he chose his path and it didn't include his. Continuing to fight with her was more important than what was best for the. But she did come out of it with a healthier way of dealing with the, their disappointments and their relationship with their father. I would say that if any of this influences their attitude or school, family counseling on your side is in order. Bottom line, you are on the sidelines of this and the two of them have to choose how they are going to deal with the and each other. It isn't your fight. If you can your husband and your stepchildren and put the rest of that stuff out of your mind, support them without taking sides, and just them it be enough. Or as in my case, it not be. Burfordville a new diet and everything be hunky-dory. not for me anyway. 2. the idea that our emotional state reflects our health too, which is also affected by diet. This is not an idea that's always taken into account when people talk about how their diet is. Look at the body, but then look at the mental state of the person too. Try the diet, consider your body AND your state of mind created by the diet and the lifestyle. Both are important. We can have the healthiest looking bodies, but if our mind is imbalanced, it affects our life as completely as being physiy ill. Forcing a diet, despite cravings in order to attempt to "get used to it" can create this imbalance, which I've experienced and am disinclined to do again. Those peeps I've encountered who have to force themselves to stay with a restricted diet by becoming preachy or judgemental of others, that's actually a reflection (I think) that their diet isn't as for them as they say it is because if we have to project our ideals on to other people, we're reflecting our own internal struggle with those very ideals. Kind of like someone who insists homosexuality doesn't exist is really repressing their own to go on another kind of binge. Anyway, it's okay if VW doesn't *agree* with me, it's just that I was getting tired of trying to engage her in this idea and that's not the thread of conversation she felt like picking up. I guess we just weren't connecting on the topic, so that's okay. as you having a lover you rarely and late at night. You said your never be exposed to your lover and never live in an openly poly home. Within THOSE parameters, there's nothing to tell your. Most of the people on this forum clearly are committed to monogamy. Some do, in fact, think it's the ONLY way and judge others harshly. Nevertheless, most aren't dumb. They "heard" your situation the same way your hear it if you tell them and the way their friends and friends' parents hear it: as about sex. Instead of scoffing, I think you should realize you got a dose of reality. If there's a philosophy behind your open marriage, FINE. Teach that to your. I'm all for teaching acceptance and the reality that relationships are more complex than we are often led to believe. By all means, tell them people define relationships their own way. Tell them you don't believe marriage must be monogamous But leave it at that. They don't need to know about late night meetings with a special friend they'll never meet. It burden and confuse them. They watch you like a hawk and wonder about your special friend. Worst of all, it'll have them focusing on YOUR relationships, instead of their own. I hear you about comparing it to coming out as a. In that situation, as well, you don't start by coming out to your and no one. In the case of coming out, DO meet the parent's same sex partner so there is a reason to tell. Also, these days much of the world (though certainly not all of it) has a reasonable understanding of gayness, so of gays don't have to keep their parent's status a secret. Obviously, they don't live in an entirely friendly world; but it's a friendlier world with more support than the who tells her friends about mom's special friendship encounter. I stand by my recommendation that you discuss this with a therapist. The teen years are supposed to be about TEEN's relationships NOT their parents relationships. I DO think you're a little blind to how this would affect your and upstage their focus on THEIR peer relationships. I don't think you should dismiss the idea that you have reasons for wanting to tell. Keep your mind open: we all have underground motives.

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